Already my parents are driving me nuts, so..

My Mother and Father are driving me nuts already on Christmas. Apparently, the electric stove - which my mother never had to cook on growing up or in home economics class in high school - is a P.O.S. The temperature control on it runs hotter than what it appears on the knobs, causing things to overheat, overflow, boilover, burn, etc. You'd think that, after having this happen a number of times, most people would be careful and just watch what they are cooking. She walks away, and something happens - a clear accident. Instead, she throws a fit, complete with a stream of expletives that would make a sailor blush. Then she blames the stove which, fair enough, doesn't work properly. She blames the fact they don't have a gas-line and a gas stove. Just nuts. And eff me for saying "it was just an accident." It's just the end of the world. Everyone is horrible. And electric stoves are what caused my Grandma Bolton go be such a horrible cook, and "lose her mind." Pssh.

In other crazy Michigan news - apparently someone tried to blow up a plane in Detroit. The plane was coming in from Amsterdam and someone tried to explode the plane. They set off some firecrackers first. They suspect Al Qaeda, but we can't really be sure of that yet, can we?

But most telling are the comments from passengers. The observations from one gentleman from Holland, Michigan - in the western, conservative, Republican part of the state - was that he heard "a pop and saw some smoke and fire." Then, he said, “a young man behind me jumped on him.” He said there was a little bit of commotion for about 10 to 15 minutes, and that the way passengers responded made him proud to be an American.

Another passenger from Pontiac - in the eastern, more liberal part of the state - was that he was unaware of the incident until departing the plane, and that he did not "see or hear anything."

Now, I have to say: if someone on an international plane started setting off firecrackers, or setting a shoe on fire, or whatever else - I would probably jump on them too. I'd probably beat the snot out of them. There is a good chance I would end their life before they could end mine, if I judged if that was their aim. I want to make that very clear.

But it's telling that the gentleman from Holland felt the need to parade his patriotism. Why is that the first emotion that he felt? If I were him, I don't know that I would have felt an overwhelming sense of national identity when interviewed. Indeed, we found out that the assailant was on the government's No-Fly List. If anything, I think I would have thanked God, thanked the passenger who threw himself on the assailant, thanked everyone who assisted. That the sudden quick-and-astute actions of his fellow passengers could be linked to nationalism/patriotism is puzzling. The government had nothing to do with what happened on that plane, and members of any society (American, British, Iraqi, Swahili) probably would have done the same things to save their skin. It's called the survival instinct. It's a basic human psychological motivation, and it knows no geopolitical boundaries.

Interesting, though. Today, I watched the Lord of the Flies (the 1990 movie). I read the book long ago, but the movie was a brutal and graphic depiction that always stuck with me. If ever there was an allegory for the way that our country works, and even what happened on that plane, it was that movie. The strong, savage, war-like children band together and pledge their allegiance to the lithe, muscular, older hunting boy, Jack. Jack, who before being stranded on the island, was rumored to have stolen a car and been a rather "bad boy." Despite all his failings in leading a tribe that turns murderous, Jack gains conrol of the group - killing Simon (the curious intellectual) and Piggy (the sensitive-but-physically weak moralist), and eventually turning the hunt on Ralph (the ethical leader). The children follow him as long as he provides fun, the illusion of security, and swine meat. Oink. In their hedonism, they forget the ultimate moral rule - killing is bad - and surrender themselves to their pledge to Jack. They lose sight of the morally-correct leadership of Ralph, which is to remain alive but not lose their human decency, for that of Jack.

And then they are rescued. We are left with an image of once-mighty young hunters and their righteous former leader, cowering before a U.S. Marine who has come to rescue them. Tears come to their eyes, and Ralph bursts into tears. The look on the savage hunters faces suggest that reality has sunk back in and the outside world has come calling, where murder is wrong. And they have killed two of their friends.

How does his relate to the gent on the plane? The patriotic gent from conservative West Michigan? Instead of being thankful for the smart, quick thinking of his fellow passenger - one of whom tackled the assumed bomber - he puts his faith in strong, war-like, patriotic America. The conservative's nostalgic America of September 11, 2001 to January 20, 2009. The America of the patriot act; of the invasion of Iraq; of waterboarding; of Gitmo; of Abu Gharaib. He puts his faith in not just STOPPING the assailant, but the faith that will will retaliate, dominate, and then destroy. In short, he puts his faith in an America of Jack's, and if felt good to say it out loud.

The guy from Pontiac? I'm sure he was just happy to be alive. He reported what he knew to the news, and moved on with his life. He'll probably go see his family and friends on Christmas Day, have dinner, and maybe hug those he loves a little closer. Monday, he'll go to work. Life will go on. I suspect, from his comments, he knew that the entire situation was out of his hands from the get go, but that America had nothing to do with why he was alive. He may put his faith in Ralph's America - the America where people take a more pragmatic-and-measured view of things.

Of course, it could also have something to do with the ethnic heritage of the gentleman from Holland: Syed Jafry. We can draw no sure conclusions about the heritage of the gentleman, but I can say this: after Sept. 11, 2001 - throughout the country and especially in my home state of Michigan - there were racially motivated attacks on people of middle eastern origin. Indeed (showing the ignorance of many people in my state and elsewhere), there were attacks on people who even just had "arabic appearance" - including people of latin, greek, and other heritages. It was horrible.

Maybe Mr. Jafry is just a white, Anglo-Saxon protestant with a really interesting name. Maybe Syed and Jafry are Dutch names, and I'm just guessing the etymology really wrong. But also, possibly, the gentleman from Holland, Michigan is a little afraid. Maybe by identifying with fortress America; aggressive-saving America; Jack's America; and the former Bush/Cheney America, he's hedging his bets. Maybe he was just scared enough that he felt, like many other people of foreign born descent, that he had to say something to make his allegiance known - in case we slipped back into that savage shade of patriotism again.

If this is just the start of a new series of confrontations with Al Qaeda, I guess we'll find out. With Obama in office, will it be a Ralph's America - or Jack's?

Ugh - my mom is calling.

*UPDATE: The guy from Pontiac speaks further. From AP: "Rich Griffith, a passenger from Pontiac, said he was seated too far in the back to see what had happened. But he said he didn't mind being detained on the plane for several hours. 'It's frustrating if you don't want to keep your country safe,' he said. 'We can't have what's going on everywhere else happening here.'" Pretty measured response from Ralph so far.

(Courtesy of www.freep.com).